Wednesday, October 31, 2007

How do you like your Cosmopolitan, miss?

I like it shaken, not stirred, with organic Hamberry juice and lime.

You're going to wear that shirt to the Grammy's?!

I know, it's a hamble. People will remember me, though.

The forces of the darkness are upon us!

Here--wear this hamulet, and no harm will come to you.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

"No Blood for Oil! End the War Now! It's time we finally spoke out against the crimes of this administration!"

(Please don't report me to the House Committee on Un-Hamerican Activities!)

We made up the poster to say "Biggles and Crock."

That's good, but make it a hampersand.

There's an emergency! What should I do?

Call the hambulance! I'll call his hamily! And, hey! Turn that hamera off! This WILL NOT end up on some reality tv show.

Monday, October 29, 2007

What time is your bus leaving tonight?

Actually, I'm taking hamtrak.

What do you mean, you're letting me go?

I'm sorry, but it's not like we haven't given you hample opportunity to perform.

Who is the most misunderstood artist of our modern era?

Hamela Anderson (Lee).

Hey, can you help me out? We're trying to build a barn in this field.

I would, but I'm playing the HAMbourine in a band tonight. Sorry!