Please don't cut me.

I'm a hamophiliac.

Whatever happened to those guys who sang "Du Hast"?

Who, Hammstein? I think they're touring the Balkans.

Charlise, why is your sister cryin so?

Bertie is hollerin cuz she jumped too high and done fell offa the hampoline.

The greatest Secretary of the Treasury will take office in 2060.

Alexhamil Anderton.

The Mavs are doing really well this year.

I thought they'd struggle more with Eric Hampier injured.

Ham Soda?

Finally!

Want to come out to the big sorority party?

Sorry. I've got a big exam tomorrow I really need to ham for.

Give it up for Terry Gynt on the drums!

And Moorehouse Plato on the hamdolin!

The Motor City Madman (Theodore Nugent) speak thus:

"When hunting venison, bringeth thy bow, thy arrow, and thy hamouflage pantsuit."

With a little bit of uh-uh, And a little bit of uh-uh.

It's getting ham in here.

So take of all your clothes.

Getting to see my family is the best part of the holidays.

Ham is where the heart is.

It's getting late.

Time to hit the ham.

My vegan roommate Chadrach choked me when he thought I used his knives to cut some savory meats. I gasped "No... I...used my laster beams..not..your"

Chadrach released his death grip, composed himself, and said "Well, no ham, no fowl"

I might be the Vice President...

...but I love Guns and Hammo.

Hampton: Slacks...Slacks! Hey, Slacks, I'm new here but I know you're the best tech support in the history of this company. My name is Hampton. Anyways, I hit Shift 7 and a strange symbol appeared. Slacks, is my keyboard broken?

Slacks: That's a Hampersand.

Why did you hide yourself and your family in a bin of teddy bears on a cargo ship?

I wanted to get to the Western Hamisphere.

Sloppy Joe walks into Dr. Reezenthorpe's office. "BLT Joe?"

NO, I think it's a pulled hammy.

So then I said to my Priest, "Yeah? You like pants too?" So he starts crying and I'm just trying to leave the damn Church because I've got a heated-

You're drunk. Stop hambling.

Looks like you had a rough night.

Hambuca kills.

Wanna See a Movie Tonight?

Yeah. Let's see Sha-ham. (starring Shaquille O'Nealham)

Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring? Are you having an affair?!?!

No, no, my love, it's just that I have to take it off in the summer because I get such swollen hams.

We should join this real-estate/knife selling company, Teddy was talking about.

I don't know. Sounds like a pyramid ham.

But ma, I didn't do nothin'!

Are you serious, Bessie Sue? I saw Cal Glanders all up in your hambake.

How do you like your Cosmopolitan, miss?

I like it shaken, not stirred, with organic Hamberry juice and lime.

You're going to wear that shirt to the Grammy's?!

I know, it's a hamble. People will remember me, though.

The forces of the darkness are upon us!

Here--wear this hamulet, and no harm will come to you.

"No Blood for Oil! End the War Now! It's time we finally spoke out against the crimes of this administration!"

(Please don't report me to the House Committee on Un-Hamerican Activities!)

We made up the poster to say "Biggles and Crock."

That's good, but make it a hampersand.

There's an emergency! What should I do?

Call the hambulance! I'll call his hamily! And, hey! Turn that hamera off! This WILL NOT end up on some reality tv show.

What time is your bus leaving tonight?

Actually, I'm taking hamtrak.

What do you mean, you're letting me go?

I'm sorry, but it's not like we haven't given you hample opportunity to perform.

Who is the most misunderstood artist of our modern era?

Hamela Anderson (Lee).

Hey, can you help me out? We're trying to build a barn in this field.

I would, but I'm playing the HAMbourine in a band tonight. Sorry!